College Law Student

I know the concerns about skin damage and cancer but Spray Tanning has to be outlawed.

There is a perfectly good sun outside and you can protect yourself if you look into it.

You can even lay in bed and get a better tan than using the spray but some people still use it and are left looking like these guys…

It is a crime against eyes.

I say we ban it.

I’m an Xbox Live player.

I play Halo, Call of Duty and the occasional Uno (mostly when drinking).

While I am not a “person of color”, one of the most offensive things I have seen on Xbox is the incredible amount of racism.

The most troubling thing about it is that the attacks are not always caused by an argument or anything that sets the offender off, it’s usually because they assume someone is a different race than them because of the way they talk or the subject of the conversation.

And I hear it from every age group, pre-teens all the way up to guys in their 40s just shouting hateful comments into their little headsets from the safety of their couches.

Even UFC light-heavyweight champion, Quentin “Rampage” Jackson deals with it while trying to relax and play a videogame while taking a break from smashing peoples faces in.

But even a World Class ass kicker like Rampage has to just sit there and take it because of the anonymity these idiots are lucky enough to have, otherwise I have a feeling there would be alot of very quiet racists sitting in their mothers basements with him in the room.

I propose a law goes into effect that allows all racists on Xbox to have their addresses sent directly to Mr. Jackson where he will be able to single-handedly fix this problem of online tough guys so that everyone else can get back to having a good time.

Here is a personal law I’d like to enact immediately.

“Muffin-top” is a generally pejorative, slang term used to describe the phenomenon of overhanging flesh when it spills over the waistline of trousers or skirt in a manner that resembles the top of a muffin spilling over its paper casing. This generally occurs when an individual wears low-rise, hip-hugger pants, or midriff-baring tops that are too small.

This calls for fines or at least an immediate removal from public view.

Repeat offenders should be made to wear only burlap sacks.